Monday, April 03, 2006

Holy Crap, It's Opening Day!

Time to stock up on the Rolaids.

I'm usally pumped about Opening Day. Most years I call in sick, get drunk and curse at all the dopes on TV.

Not today.

I'm approaching this year with extreme apprehension. As good as this team appears to be on paper, I'm just not excited at all. And there's only one person to blame for that:I didn't used to be this cynical. I didn't used to "hate" anyone. But when the one thing in this miserable world that gives me pleasure is handled like a hen in a cock house, I get a little irate.

So I'm not really looking forward to kicking off the season. I thought about wiping Macha's slate clean and going into the season full of optimism, but decided against it. Now he has to prove to ME that he isn't a retard. Fool me once...

So when this game finally gets played, I fully expect for Zito to get pulled one batter too late, for Kennedy to face one too many righties and for Frank Thomas to lay down a sacrifice bunt.

Somethings never change.

But some things do change. And there's several coming to FireMacha for the 2006 season. I won't reveal them all now, but we've added a new contributor.

And he's fucking hilarious.

(Scroll down to read his first entry).


Anonymous Anonymous said...


Monday, April 03, 2006 10:14:00 AM  
Blogger The Anti-Blez said...


Take heart, my friend.

The Moron wil be sacked by the All-Star Break.

(Wait a minute, that's what I said last year, after they started the season with a 17-27 record...)

Ummm... We're fucked again.

Monday, April 03, 2006 11:01:00 AM  
Blogger The Anti-Blez said...

By the way, I can't wait to read stuff by the new contributor!

Monday, April 03, 2006 11:04:00 AM  
Anonymous smac said...

I'm on permanent Macha Tilt. I'm going to spend the entire season on the precipice and all it will take is one Macha fuck-up for me to jump.

I don't like my odds of survival.

Monday, April 03, 2006 12:11:00 PM  
Blogger Roman said...

Macha Tilt?

Enough with the poker already. IsoP

Monday, April 03, 2006 12:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Grey-Haired Douche-Bag is at it again. First he unexplicably bats with Swisher BELOW Kendall. Then, he lets Zito in on a day he clearly doesn't have it, only to pull him out after he gives up the TOTAL MELTDOWN grand slam...

It's gonna be a long year...

Monday, April 03, 2006 9:49:00 PM  
Blogger The Anti-Blez said...

Zito is so fucking overrated, we can't really blame the Moron this time.

Look at Zito's numbers, and compare them to those of his "personal" pitching coach, Randy Jones. Early in his career, Jones also won a Cy Young, only to go on to a mediocre career of .500 seasons.

Jones obviously taught Zito all of his bad pitching habits.

The Anti-Blez

Tuesday, April 04, 2006 1:17:00 AM  

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