I Dreamt About The A's Last Night

Some guys get to dream of Jessica Alba bending over for some doggy style sex. Me? I dream of Rich Harden.

I don't think that makes me gay.

Anyway, it was March 4th and our guys were taking on the Mets in Camden Yards. It was a day game. I thought it was just another Spring Training game, but much to my shagrin, Robert Buan tells me that it's Opening Day.

I was confused and upset. Confused because we're opening up the season on March 4th against the Mets in Camden Yards and upset because I was stuck at work. On a Saturday.

We were losing 2-0 before I finally escaped this hell hole to watch the rest of the game on TV. Why I just didn't go to MLB.tv, I don't know. I get home, flip on the tube, and see that the Mets have the bases loaded in the 8th. Macha goes to pull Harden. Oh, I take that back. Macha just goes to see if Harden's okay. Apparently he is because Macha leaves him in. Victor Diaz deposits Harden's next offering into the left field seats.

My subconscious continues to prepare me for the next six months of stupidity.

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Actual conversation I started my work week with:

"I can't open up (a network file)."

"What do you mean you can't open it up?"

"Well, I started the program and clicked on the file like I do every morning, but it won't open up."

"Does it give you a message?"

"Yes."

"What does it say?"

"I didn't read it."

[slaps forehead]