Tuesday, September 27, 2005

September Pretenders

I have to admit, choking in September is a lot less frustrating than choking in October. You'd think that slowly blowing a shot at the World Series over a month-long period would be a lot more painful than quickly witnessing your dreams disappear after three short games, but it isn't. Who'd of thunk it? It's like the exact opposite of the Band-Aid theory.

Record as of August 31st
2004: 78-53
2005: 75-57

Record as of September 30th
2004: 90-69
2005: 87-73*

*Projecting a 2-2 record with 4 games to play this month. And that's being optimistic.

So in September of 2004, our mighty A's went 12-16. This September I'm projecting that they'll go (surprise, surprise) 12-16. Watching this team slowly let a playoff berth slip away for the second year in a row is a lot less agonizing than the first time around. I guess I'm getting used to the choking.

Last August, Greg, I and some other IMBBs (don't ask) planned an October trip to Vegas for a weekend of drunkenness, debauchery and Oakland A's playoff baseball. When I made my plans, our boys were 16 games over .500. Then they went and rolled off 13 wins in 14 games. We were sittin' pretty. Everything was setting up perfecting. What's that saying about the best-laid plans?

The September collapse was new and surprising.

Check out the September records of the ALDS choke artists:

September W-L
2003: 14-11
2002: 18-8
2001: 17-4
2000: 21-7

These a-holes had the audacity to get our hopes up. They were playing their best ball of the year heading into the playoffs. Remember in 2000 when the Yankees backed into the playoffs with a 13-17 September record? They lost their last seven regular season games, and 14 of their final 17. And they beat us.

No problem. We all knew that team was going to be "our worst club over the next five years". Hell of an effort. We'll get 'em next year. All that bullshit. Then September after effing September, Oakland played it best baseball of the year only to disappear in October.

It was the bitch we call September that set up the disappointment. She slid her hand down our pants. She got down on her knees. What a whore.

At least now she's knocked off the cock-tease. Ain't nothing worse than a pair of blue balls.

Sure, I got my hopes up in July and August. I thought maybe they could do it. What a great story it would have been. I should've known better.

Fool me once...


Blogger Greg said...

by 2009, these assholes will be running off a 25-5 spring training record, and we'll be popping champagne on March 30th. The World Series is ours, we'll loudly proclaim.

A 65-97 season later, we'll wonder what went wrong.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005 10:27:00 PM  
Blogger The Anti-Blez said...


You have to learn that there's nothing wrong with premature ejaculation. It feels a lot better than left, um, hangin' in September.

I blew my big league bukkake wad way back in August. When September rolled around and Eric "Senor Choke" Chavez packed it in, I knew that not only was I spent, so was this pathetic team.

And Ken Macha likes it up the ass.

--The Anti-Blez

Wednesday, September 28, 2005 6:51:00 AM  
Blogger Toni said...

For me the most frustating aspect of this year has been getting the lead in the division and the WC and then just letting it slip away. Once we lost in Cleveland, didn't take care of business against the Twins or the Strangers the writing was on the wall.

We weren't going to the playoffs this year. :(

So my final wish for the season switched to just not having to watch the Angels celebrate on our field for the second straight year in a row. Well so much for that. That hope got smashed like a beer bottle under a sledge hammer.

I also wanted to say I've enjoyed your blog very much, and I hope both you and Greg continue to write about the A's, hopefully future articles will involve happier times. :)

Any plans for the future of Fire Ken Macha?? What will it become. If the Macha-ery goes to Pittsburgh (knock really, really, hard on wood) will you continue to point out his ineptitude ... or are you currently working on Bob Geren is a Moron and I Hate Him??? ;)

(sorry for the long post)

Go A's.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005 2:46:00 PM  

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