Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Paper or Plastic?

"...this is the first time I've actually been embarrassed to be an A's fan."

This team has sunk to new lows. Well, maybe not "new" lows, but lows we haven't experienced in quite a while. Which is a damn shame. It wasn't supposed to be this way. We weren't supposed to be out of it before the end of May. We weren't supposed to be the Devil Rays' bitch.

This is pathetic. I'm contemplating replacing my A's cap with a grocery bag. I haven't decided whether I just want to hide my face in shame or suffocate myself and end this misery.

I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't be embarassed to be an A's fan. Not because this is "just a game." Not because "there's always next year." But because we SHOULD be hovering around .500. We SHOULD still be in it. Except we have a moron for a manager. He has single-handedly cost us a minimum of five games this season. A swing of five games would put us at 22-23 and in decent shape heading into a stretch of games versus Tampa Bay, Cleveland and Toronto. Instead, we sit at 11 games under .500 and are the laughing stock of the league. We're barely better than Kansas City and, despite what the records say, we're A LOT worse than Tampa bay. And that IS embarassing.

Shake up the line-up! Bench Kendall! DO SOMETHING! Don't just stand there chewing on your Juicy Fruit while we're getting our asses handed to us. I hate you so damn much. Everything you do pisses me off. I want to punch you in your gut. I want to kick you in your shin. I want to swing you in circles by your waistband. I want to squirt lime juice in your eyes. I want to jam a Q-Tip in your ear a quarter of an inch too far. I'm an ornery son of a bitch like that.


Blogger CanYouSmellWhatTheHawkIsCooking said...

this is not my work, but maybe you should put it up on the main page somewhere. seems fitting

Wednesday, May 25, 2005 11:43:00 PM  
Anonymous smac said...

did you just use the word "ornery?"

Man, you are white.

Friday, May 27, 2005 2:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Consistency is the last refuge of the totally stupid." Ken Macha

Hey RMV,what's up? No luck getting Macha fired yet huh.hfg -CHFinley

Thursday, June 02, 2005 5:51:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home