Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Go Team

During my almost three-month hiatus, I've come to realize two things:
1) The 2006 version of the Oakland Athletics are the sorriest sacks of shit in the history of baseball and
2) The internet sucks when I'm not on it.

I've come to hate these assholes. They fucking suck and I hate watching them. They're gutless, heartless, and act like a bunch of fags when they actually win a game. Anyone see the college boy circle jerk that went on during the 17-inning affair versus the Dodgers? Or how about Marco Scutaro dry butt-fucking Frank Thomas after his walk-off against Anaheim? I wonder how much grab ass went on in the clubhouse when Anaheim then proceeded to take the next three games against our "first place" Athletics.

Wait a minute. Anaheim took three of four in the most important series of the year? Jeez, where have I heard that one before? And guess what? Seven of our final 10 games this year are against those very same Angels. It sure is gonna be fun watching the Angels celebrate their Division championship on our field. Again.

I'm starting to hate Billy Beane too. I mean, seriously, do SOMETHING already. The Astros just got Aubrey Huff AND cash for a box of rocks and a bucket of nuttin. But we'll continue to trot Dan Johnson and his .700 OPS out to first base day after day. Aubrey Huff, Julio Lugo, John Smoltz, Andruw Jones, Nick Johnson...they're all available. And Billy's out there getting guys like Steve Karsay and Scott Sauerbeck. Great.

And how about the clusterfuck of nothingness the best GM in the game conjured up this off-season?

Freddie Bynum is out of options, so what does Beane do? He packages him with a very serviceable arm in John Rheinecker for Juan fucking Dominguez. Why Juan Dominguez?

"He pitched against us the other day and struggled with his command, but he pitched against us in September and he was pretty much lights-out."

--Ken Macha, 3/31/2006


Are you fucking shitting me? All I kept reading about was how impressed everyone was with Juan Dominguez's ONE start against us in September. How come no one brought up his OTHER start against us in September. You know, the one just two weeks earlier in which he gave up eight runs in 3.1 innings? And I hate to break it to you, Kenny, but Dominguez just didn't struggle with his command "the other day," he struggled all Spring. His Cactus League ERA when Billy traded for him was 8.44. But shit if he wasn't fantastic that one start in September. The one where he was "lights-out". The one where he struck out a whopping 3 batters in 7.1 innings. The one where he gave up 8 hits in 7.1 innings. The one where he gave up a homerun and two doubles. Lights-out my ass.

Billy Beane traded John Rheinecker for another Juan Cruz. And he traded Juan Cruz for another John Rheinecker. One big fucking circle. Just to get rid of Freddie Bynum. Because he was out of options. And we can't have anyone that's out of options on this club. Except for Antonio Perez. Because he's such a fucking powerhouse.

                        IP     ERA    WHIP
John Rheinecker 52.1 3.96 1.53
Brad Halsey 65.2 3.97 1.55

Juan Cruz 54.2 4.45 1.30
Juan Dominguez (AAA) 87.2 5.85 1.63

AB Avg OBP Slg%
Freddie Bynum 73 .260 .289 .425
Antonio Perez 55 .091 .194 .200

Andre Ethier 165 .352 .403 .545
Milton Bradley 94 .213 .327 .351
Aren't trades, like, supposed to make your team better?

And that Esteban Loaiza signing is working out just smashingly too. Kenny Rogers is available, has a lifetime 347-0 record at the Coliseum, is coming off of his best season in about six years, is cheaper than Loaiza, and Billy doesn't go after him? Jesus Christ, man. In what world is Kenny Rogers NOT a better option than Esteban Loaiza?
                         IP     ERA     WHIP
Kenny Rogers 114.2 3.85 1.19
Esteban Loiaza 56.0 6.43 1.66
I guess the Frank Thomas thing has worked out pretty well. But Frank Thomas is a future Hall of Famer. Taking a whirl, and a cheap whirl at that, on one of the best hitters in the history of the game doesn't really take a lot of balls. This isn't Chris Singleton we're talking about. It's The Big Hurt.

Hopefully, Billy will go out and do something near the deadline. He always does. Like last year when we got those superstars Jay Payton and Joe Kennedy. Or the year before when he, uh, reinstated Chris Hammond from the 15-day disabled list and designated Eric Karros for assignment because he had already made his move a month earlier (Dotel).

I'm sure Billy's hard at work. Working the phones. Pounding the pavement. Focusing all his efforts on making this club better.

"It was a lot of business, and a lot of pleasure. Being at a sight like Germany, it was a great opportunity to explore the business end of soccer."

--Billy Beane, 6/29/2006

[slaps forehead]

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome entry.

Sums up the way I feel, too. Even last week, when the A's were rolling, when people were asking me if I was excited about the A's, I said no. I'm not excited about this bunch of guys and I'm not optimistic for our chances.

And BB's stock is dropping every day.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 1:38:00 PM  
Blogger Bobby said...

You really think Kenny Rodgers would have signed with Oakland? I doubt it.

You should really mention how much of a joke the NL is, too

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 5:00:00 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

you are not a fan

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 5:59:00 PM  
Anonymous that bootleg guy said...

You tell 'im, Greg! The real fans are the eternal optimists over at the t-shirt salesman's site! They're the REAL fans who believe in Billy Beane and will accept being in first place in July as something worthy of praise, not scorn! And, what do you win for first place at the ASB? Nothing.

Ass.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 7:05:00 PM  
Blogger Roman said...

You really think Kenny Rodgers would have signed with Oakland? I doubt it.

He signed for $16 million for a team that finished 20 games under .500.

Do I think he would have signed with us for $21 million? Fuck yeah.


And let me mention that the NL is a joke. So Billy went ahead and tied up a lot of the team's payroll on those NL lifers Kendall and Kotsay. Good job, Billy.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 8:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The beginning of the end for the A's under BB was the day that he decided that Chavez, not Tejada, was the guy to build around. The A's haven't made the play-offs since. And every year the team seems to get a little weaker.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 9:57:00 PM  
Blogger Fletch said...

The 2006 A's have been depressing. The moves Beano has made this year have been pointless, we don't need Karsay's dead ass, or the gay porn star who is not even allowed to play here in Japan. The guys friggin banned from playing baseball in Japan, and Beano thinks its a good idea to trade for him? Fuckin' A!

These guys are forcing me to drink...A LOT. Good thing I get tomorrow's game on TV live (8Am Tokyo time)since they're playing Boston...is 8AM too early to start drinking?

Thursday, July 13, 2006 4:14:00 AM  
Blogger Sports on the Moon said...

Worst offense in baseball. Chavez is optimistic because the A's traditionally get going in the second half. They also traditionally crash out before or during the playoffs. Great. And as a wonderful sign for whats to come, to start the second half, to starta tough road trip, after three days off, with just about any pitcher available to start, against one of your nemesis, Loiaza gets the call. Great.

Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:50:00 AM  
Blogger ghostofaspast said...

In defense of the Either trade, we did get a great pinch runner for the Big Hurt late in the game. So we got that going for us.

Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:57:00 PM  
Blogger Bobby said...

He signed for $16 million for a team that finished 20 games under .500.

He didnt have a previous crappy stint in Detroit like he has Oakland. I dont think he'd want any part of being an A again

Friday, July 14, 2006 6:07:00 PM  
Blogger Roman said...

He didnt have a previous crappy stint in Detroit like he has Oakland.

Rogers put up a 3.17 ERA with a 1.18 WHIP his first year in Oakland. He also managed to win 16 games for a team that finished 14 games under .500. That was arguably the best year of his career.

Sunday, July 16, 2006 11:35:00 PM  
Blogger Sports on the Moon said...

Macha cited a "low-energy situation" for Swisher, who had a bout of food poisoning a week and a half ago, and he said that because Bradley had been on base so much (seven times in two games) after coming off the DL, he wanted to give the outfielder a rest.

Monday, July 17, 2006 6:25:00 AM  
Blogger goodmeat2000 said...

No doubt just luck 3 of 4 got taken from Boston......maybe someone could bloody Ken's nose more often ....

Kenny Rogers is a cancer. There is a (damn good) reason no effort was made to keep him around. Think about it. Kenny as the 4th guy in a rotation that featured already Mulder Hudson Zito? And they STILL didn't want him.

The offense sucks because well, it sucks. But neither has it been playing to AVERAGE, and since AVERAGE is the basis for sabermetrics and hence, our ballclub's corporate philosophy, one would imagine that over 162 games, the average will revert to mean.

Pretty hard to get pissed at guys for not hitting when they are either on the DL, headed for the DL, headed for AAA, or at the mercy of the performance of such individuals. And on the few occassion when things DO fall together, Ken is usually there to screw it up.

Kendall and Kotsay WERE AND ARE good moves. If you are not going to score runs, then it is a pretty good idea to prevent them. K&K should get a good amount of credit. Defense is up the middle, and the A's are known for their defense. Not a coincidence.

Didn't know the A's had a gay porn star on their team. Missed that memo. Slusser didn't write about that, did she?

In defense of the Ethier trade, we got two proven ML players for one hopeful. That hasn't changed. Ethier has had a great start. Well, Esteban German is hitting .340 for Kansas City, too, with more playing time than Ethier, and we GAVE him away. I have missed the howliing on that one. Could it be because no one expects it to continue? Anyone remember a guy name of Dan Johnson? Had a pretty great start to his MLB career......Milton Bradley drove in more runs in the first week of the DL than DJ did this year, I think.

Being a fan doesn't require non-stop pollyannism, but neither does it require non-stop pessimism and bitching. Unless you're bitching about Macha. That IS required.

Monday, July 17, 2006 9:00:00 AM  
Blogger Roman said...

That reminds me, German should have started over Scutaro back when Bobby Crosby tore Ellis' labrum.

Monday, July 17, 2006 9:52:00 AM  

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