Batman Comes To Pittsburgh...And Doesn't Destroy Jim Tracy

Sitting at the bar today watching the Pirates once again get thumped by another sad sack franchise, the guy next to me blurted out, "If Jason Bay is so damn good why does he only have 2 rbi?"

I did not answer him at that moment because had I done so I might have beaten him to death with his sandwich, but now that I have cooled down my emotions I can give a logical, in depth, analyzed, well thought out response. Consider these points:

1. Jason Bay is currently hitting 4th behind the following players: 1. Chris Duffy, 2. Jack Wilson, 3. Sean Casey.

2. Chris Duffy at the moment is hitting .130 (Pirates pitchers are hitting .154) and a .167 On-Base Percentage (again, Pirates pitchers have a .154 On-Base Percentage). He has reached base 5 times this season. Five. FIVE. He has struck out 9 times in 23 at-bats. Even more alarming, of the 92 pitches Chris Duffy has faced this year he has swung and missed 14 of them. Not good. Five times on base. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Five.

3. Jack Wilson in the two spot is actually hitting quite well. .348/.464/.565. 4 walks (to only 2 strikeouts) to go along with the nice line. But...

4. In the 3 spot is Sean Casey. The human double play. No player had a higher double play rate in 2005 than Sean Casey and early on he is on pace to not only break the single season double play record, but shatter it so badly no one may ever come close to it again. It will be the new 56 my friends. Unbreakable.

5. Because of the above, (Chris Duffy going Rafeal Belliard on us, Sean Casey erasing Jack Wilson at every turn) Jason Bay has only had 10 at-bats with runners on base this year....only 4 with runners in scoring position.

Thats why he only has 2 RBI you neanderthal.

- Jeff Francouer is currently 2 for 33 with no walks and 8 strikeouts. But you didn't need me to tell you that.

- The Pirates opened up their home season today and who did they have throw out the first pitch? One of the Steelers? The president? Me? No.

Batman. Not the good batman (Adam West), the fake batman who had to have plastic molded muscles (unlike Adam West, who used his regular body...ALL..WEST) Michael Keaton. The only positive thing about this is Keaton took his pre-game press conference as an oppurtunity to rip Pirates owner Kevin McClatchey and compare him to Donald Sterling, and his team to the LA Clippers. Ouch. Score one for fake Batman.

- Humberto Cota is clearly the Pirates #1 catcher in the eyes of Jim Tracy for one reason: He's better than Ryan Doumit defensively (who could be an All-Star offensively). To demonstrate this today, Humberto Cota managed to mangle what would have been a third strike on Jason Repko(!) by letting it fall harmlessly out of his mitt....instead of being out (Repko tipped it) Repko remained in the box...and put the next pitch off the rotunda in left field and the Dodgers never looked back. But Ryan Doumit can't catch.

- Begin submitting your questions now for next weeks debut of the "Ask Adam" Q & A session. Some questions will be answered. Many will not. Best question gets a free "REO Speedwagon" T-shirt. It has a few mustard stains on it, but the structure and foundation is still sound.

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