Thanks BiIly

The trade deadline has come and gone and Billy Beane didn't do a damn thing. It wasn't that long ago that Billy made "Fucking-A" trades:

• Izzy and T-Long, who WAS a decent enough prospect when Billy got him, for Billy Taylor,
• Jermaine Dye for a couple of retards,
• Ray Durham for that kid with polio,
• Rincon for the B-Lot parking attendant.

Then he moved on to trading spare parts for valuable pieces:

• Guillen for Harang and "future closer" Joe Valentine,
• Dotel for Mark "The Next Giambi" Teahen and Mike Wood,
• Payton for Bradford,
• Kennedy for Byrnes and Quintanilla.

The past couple of years he's got his work out of the way early, leaving the deadline headaches to those dopes that didn't get the job done early. Or was that just an excuse to justify the deals he couldn't get done at deadline?

So what about this year? Why didn't Billy do a damn thing?

Well, I can already tell you what you're going to read in the papers tomorrow.

"Sure, we had some conversations, but we really feel like we made our moves this off-season. And when we get some key guys back from the DL it's going to be like we made our moves after the deadline."

--Billy Beane, tommorow

Sure.

Piss on my head and tell me it's raining. Again.

Here's what Jason Kendall had to say when he came over from the Pirates:

"Obviously that's all you hear: Big Three, Big Three, Big Three. I'm excited, and it's going to be neat to work with guys of that caliber."

--Jason Kendall, 11/30/2004

Billy Beane sat right next to Jason Kendall when he made those comments. He shook his head in agreement. So here I am, like a fucking fool, believing that Billy's going to make one last run with the Big Three. And as we all know, just two weeks later the Big Three were no more. But we got that Asian sensation, Keiichi Yabu, so all was forgiven.

Billy didn't do anything to make the team better this year. And he didn't do anything to make the team better in the future. Awesome. I'm sure the second half is going to be a blast.

New A's Blog

Boston Has AIDS.


Now ain't that the fucking truth.

Go Team

During my almost three-month hiatus, I've come to realize two things:
1) The 2006 version of the Oakland Athletics are the sorriest sacks of shit in the history of baseball and
2) The internet sucks when I'm not on it.

I've come to hate these assholes. They fucking suck and I hate watching them. They're gutless, heartless, and act like a bunch of fags when they actually win a game. Anyone see the college boy circle jerk that went on during the 17-inning affair versus the Dodgers? Or how about Marco Scutaro dry butt-fucking Frank Thomas after his walk-off against Anaheim? I wonder how much grab ass went on in the clubhouse when Anaheim then proceeded to take the next three games against our "first place" Athletics.

Wait a minute. Anaheim took three of four in the most important series of the year? Jeez, where have I heard that one before? And guess what? Seven of our final 10 games this year are against those very same Angels. It sure is gonna be fun watching the Angels celebrate their Division championship on our field. Again.

I'm starting to hate Billy Beane too. I mean, seriously, do SOMETHING already. The Astros just got Aubrey Huff AND cash for a box of rocks and a bucket of nuttin. But we'll continue to trot Dan Johnson and his .700 OPS out to first base day after day. Aubrey Huff, Julio Lugo, John Smoltz, Andruw Jones, Nick Johnson...they're all available. And Billy's out there getting guys like Steve Karsay and Scott Sauerbeck. Great.

And how about the clusterfuck of nothingness the best GM in the game conjured up this off-season?

Freddie Bynum is out of options, so what does Beane do? He packages him with a very serviceable arm in John Rheinecker for Juan fucking Dominguez. Why Juan Dominguez?

"He pitched against us the other day and struggled with his command, but he pitched against us in September and he was pretty much lights-out."

--Ken Macha, 3/31/2006

Are you fucking shitting me? All I kept reading about was how impressed everyone was with Juan Dominguez's ONE start against us in September. How come no one brought up his OTHER start against us in September. You know, the one just two weeks earlier in which he gave up eight runs in 3.1 innings? And I hate to break it to you, Kenny, but Dominguez just didn't struggle with his command "the other day," he struggled all Spring. His Cactus League ERA when Billy traded for him was 8.44. But shit if he wasn't fantastic that one start in September. The one where he was "lights-out". The one where he struck out a whopping 3 batters in 7.1 innings. The one where he gave up 8 hits in 7.1 innings. The one where he gave up a homerun and two doubles. Lights-out my ass.

Billy Beane traded John Rheinecker for another Juan Cruz. And he traded Juan Cruz for another John Rheinecker. One big fucking circle. Just to get rid of Freddie Bynum. Because he was out of options. And we can't have anyone that's out of options on this club. Except for Antonio Perez. Because he's such a fucking powerhouse.

                        IP     ERA    WHIP
John Rheinecker        52.1   3.96    1.53
Brad Halsey            65.2   3.97    1.55

Juan Cruz              54.2   4.45    1.30
Juan Dominguez (AAA)   87.2   5.85    1.63

                        AB     Avg    OBP   Slg%
Freddie Bynum           73    .260   .289   .425
Antonio Perez           55    .091   .194   .200

Andre Ethier           165    .352   .403   .545
Milton Bradley          94    .213   .327   .351 

Aren't trades, like, supposed to make your team better?

And that Esteban Loaiza signing is working out just smashingly too. Kenny Rogers is available, has a lifetime 347-0 record at the Coliseum, is coming off of his best season in about six years, is cheaper than Loaiza, and Billy doesn't go after him? Jesus Christ, man. In what world is Kenny Rogers NOT a better option than Esteban Loaiza?

                         IP     ERA     WHIP
Kenny Rogers           114.2    3.85    1.19
Esteban Loiaza           56.0    6.43    1.66

I guess the Frank Thomas thing has worked out pretty well. But Frank Thomas is a future Hall of Famer. Taking a whirl, and a cheap whirl at that, on one of the best hitters in the history of the game doesn't really take a lot of balls. This isn't Chris Singleton we're talking about. It's The Big Hurt.

Hopefully, Billy will go out and do something near the deadline. He always does. Like last year when we got those superstars Jay Payton and Joe Kennedy. Or the year before when he, uh, reinstated Chris Hammond from the 15-day disabled list and designated Eric Karros for assignment because he had already made his move a month earlier (Dotel).

I'm sure Billy's hard at work. Working the phones. Pounding the pavement. Focusing all his efforts on making this club better.

"It was a lot of business, and a lot of pleasure. Being at a sight like Germany, it was a great opportunity to explore the business end of soccer."

--Billy Beane, 6/29/2006

[slaps forehead]

John Kruk: All-Star Nut Job

The All-Star Selection show was roughly 44 seconds old when John Kruk made an asshole out of himself...Karl Ravech asked the panel of knuckledraggers (John Kruk, Harold Reynolds, and Steve Phillips) who they would place in their American League Starting outfield and John Kruk was the first to open his mouth.

Manny Ramirez. Okay.

Johnny Damon. Meh.

Raul Ibanez.

Kruk proceeded to go on about how Ibanez is a "Gamer" and has "put his time in" and is having "a wonderful season" and a whole bunch of other jibber jabber that just did not make any sense.

It did not end there. Earlier in the week I predicted that someone in the National Media would gripe about the selection of Pirates outfielder Jason Bay to the starting lineup....my initial concern was ESPN's panel of experts on Around The Horn, or even worse...Cold Pizza...sadly, I forgot about the dream team that is Baseball Tonight and the head fool John Kruk himself. I figured someone like Jay Marriotti or Bill Plaschke would talk down on Bay because he plays for the Pitiful Pittsburgh Pirates and doesn't have enough "star power" for the All-Star game and how someone like Andruw Jones or Jim Edmonds should be there instead...and they still might...in fact, I still predict someone brings up his O-for in last years homerun derby as a reason why he does not belong. Just give it time my friends. Just give it time. But in the end it was Kruk that started the flinging:

"I can see the selection of Carlos Beltran, but how can you take Jason Bay over someone like Andruw Jones?"

At the All-Star break Bay ranks in the top 5 among NL outfielders in On-Base Percentage, Slugging Percentage, and OPS....And it's no fluke: Last season Bay finished in the top 3 in the same categories (first in OPS) and the year before that was the National League Rookie Of The Year...all of this while playing half of his games in a park that can be murder on Right Handed hitters due to it's spacious left field...which Bay plays quite well as a fielder.

Andruw Jones be damned.

The only thing more insane than John Kruk is the fact that I actually give two craps about the All-Star Game.

And while we're on the subject of ESPN personalities that need fired, here are some NBA fans having a laugh with Stephen A. Smith at the NBA Draft

- Aside from Jason Bay being voted into the All-Star game (and rightfully so) the Pirates will also be represented by Freddy Sanchez which will also draw criticism around the league. After all, how could the worst team in the League have not one, but TWO All-Stars....I don't know...maybe because they're good and the rest of the team is swag?

Keith Law from Scouts Inc. already offered his rage into the selection:

"Yes, Sanchez is hitting .363, but even if you want to argue that this half season isn't a fluke -- which it is -- he has no business on the roster ahead of Wright or Cabrera or Rolen, all better players having better years. Sanchez' selection is one of those where a few years from now, he'll be hitting .280/.325/.410 and in five years from now, he'll enter the "This guy was an All-Star?" pantheon."

- Keith Law

Aside from the fact that Wright and Cabrera made the team anyway, I'm not sure why the stick up his ass has a stick up it's ass on this pick. Sanchez may not be a .363 hitter for his career but he still has a career .300 average right now, an OPS currently over.910, and is leading the NL batting race at the halfway point. I think thats what the All-Star game is supposed to be about.

If you haven't had the chance to watch Freddy Sanchez play this season (and judging by the times the Pirates have been on ESPN this year and the Attendance at PNC Park...you haven't) you're missing out. He never strikes out and sprays line drives all over the field...many of which fly into the gaps for wall banger doubles, honestly...he looks like Jason Kendall used to look in his prime. Which is excellent. And he can play every position on the infield....some better than others mind you...but he can still hold his own anywhere on the diamond.

- I'm not sure why, but when I see this clip all I can picture is Greg, Ken Macha, an A's game, and instant laughter. My only regret is I don't speak a lick of German.

- Couple weeks ago I was sitting in one of my co-workers offices when the following scene played out:

His office wall is on the other side of Mens room (which is right next door to the ladies room - it's a bad location for an office)...when you're in his office you can hear all the discussion that takes place in the Mens room and vice versa. We were sitting there chewing the fat when all of a sudden we hear a sound coming from the mens room that resembes someone pouring a bucket of water into a tub of water.

Him: "Great, someones pissing in the shitter again."

Me: "Sure sounds like it."

Him: "I hate that."

Me: "Yeah."

Him: "Because they always miss and end up peeing all over the seat, then when I have to shit, I have to sit in a puddle of pee."

I then got up, walked over to the wall, banged on it with both fists and yelled: "HEY, QUIT PISSING IN THE SHITTER!"

I sat back down and we shared a good laugh.

About five minutes later an intern comes walking over and goes, "I wasn't pissing, but I am regretting that 3rd refried bean burrito that I had last night."

Yikes.

- Jim Tracy is worse than Ken Macha and I say that with a straight face.

- Being a Pirates fan is the most frustrating thing in the world. It's bad enough we had a 12 game losing streak, but the way we lost those 12 games was just infuriating. We lost three games to the Twins where we had the lead or a tie in the 8th inning. We lost a game to Arizona where in the bottom of the 9th we had the bases loaded with no one out, didn't score, had the winning on third with 1 out in the next inning...didn't score, and give up a leadoff homerun in the top of the next inning. We lost two games to the White Sox by one run.

Jim Tracy insists on hitting Jack Wilson 2nd, even though he can't get on base...he has a scary love affair with guys like Mike Edwards and Jose Hernandez, and he uses Solomon Torres out of the bullpen every night. Literally Every night. The guy is durable (and very good) but at this pace he is going to have his career ended before the season ends.

He also loves to bunt with guys that can hit. Take the bottom of the 9th inning on Friday Night, which sadly enough, I had to witness from three rows behind the Pirates dugout. The Pirates battled back from a 7-1 hole to make it a one run game in the bottom of the 9th...Jeromy Burnitz led off the inning by reaching first base with an Error....winning run at the plate in the form of Jose Bautista...a really good young hitter for the Bucs. On this night Bautista had a triple, a homerun, a walk, and was hit by a pitch.

Tracy's call?

A sac bunt.

The first bunt attempt hit Bautista squarely on the hand...probably could have broken it, and since this is the Pirates with Pirate luck, i'm surprised it didn't. It went down as a foul ball and Bautista stayed in...Tracy kept the bunt on, which as can be expected..failed...and the Pirates lost another one run game. The very next night Bautista had another three hit game (and followed that up with another two hit game today). I sure am glad he was bunting in the 9th inning of a one run game.

Still not as crazy as the game in Cleveland a month and a half ago where Tracy called 5 Sac Bunts in an American League Ballpark (with the DH.......no Pitcher hitting) only to watch the Pirates lose by one...glad we wasted 5 outs in THAT one.