Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Inspired by AJ

JoeSpeaker's son turns four today. The family's been pressuring me and the wife to start cranking 'em out, but I'm way too irresponsible to be having kids. When my dog shits on my lawn, I just throw it into my neighbor's yard. Waking up with morning wood still cracks the hell out of me. When my wife's not home, my meals consist of cereal and beer. I still pee in the shower. I asked for a PS2 game last Christmas. And will ask for another one this Christmas. When I have to iron my own shirts, I only iron the front ('cause the back's going to get wrinkled anyway). I watch Laguna Beach. I call a woman's vagina her "coochie poochie". I fart on my wife when she's sleeping.

And these people want me to change diapers and read bedtime stories? Yeah, right.


Blogger Julio said...

and I'M the fat one?!

layoff the cold cuts. ISoP

Thursday, August 04, 2005 10:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol, I have to agree Jules

Thursday, August 04, 2005 8:03:00 PM  
Blogger Joe Speaker said...

oh god. How come I didn't see this earlier? For the very briefest of instnaces, I though you'd photoshopped your head onto my body.

(Have now been here in the comment box for well over three minutes and am still laughing)

Friday, August 05, 2005 5:17:00 PM  

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