Monday, July 17, 2006

Macha is Baltimore or less retarded

Emphasis on the "More"

Macha takes the fifth, literally



In the city in which Cal Ripken once called home, Ken Macha continues his own iron man streak of being a completely brain dead ass wart fucknozzle purple nerpal shitdick. It's been a long time coming, but Macha is finally responsible, solely, for another loss this season. For those who are keeping track, tonight makes 5 games that Macha has lost all by his lonesome brain cell. And no, the long hiatus between such occurrences does not mean that Macha is doing a better job of managing this year; it just means that the team is such a collective complete piece of shit that Macha is unable to cost them wins. What is Macha supposed to do when everybody sucks? Yeah, he was always putting out moron lineups and his pitching changes were befuddling, but it was just not possible to lay those losses squarely at the dumb as shit feet of Ken.

That all changed tonight.

In the 7th inning, Kirk Saarloos comes out for his second inning of work after what had been a nice 1-2-3 sixth inning. Now, I wasn't too keen on this move to begin with, because the 7th inning is Calero/Duchscherer territory, reserved for two of the best relievers in the league, not some 5+ ERA scrub with a weak sauce sinker. Of course, one can defend the move because Saarloos had mowed through the 6th inning with alarming ease. Still, I was apprehensive.

First batter: crushes a liner to third. Fortunately, it was right at Chavy. 1 out, but still nobody is warming up in the pen.

Second batter: Solid single. That makes two batters that Saarloos has faced, and two whom he has not fooled. Still, nobody is warming up in the pen.

Third batter: See second batter, making the appropriate contextual adjustments. Still, nobody is warming up in the pen.

Now, at this point, it is clear that Saarloos is done. He's throwing absolute meatballs up there, and has given up three ropes and two singles. Any other manager goes and gets his relief aces at this point, but Macha is no ordinary manager.

Ken was of course still asleep, and allows Saarloos to not only remain in the game to face the middle of Baltimore's lineup, but he STILL doesn't get anybody else up in the pen.

Fourth batter: Grounds into a fielder's choice. Two on, two out, and Mora and Tejada coming to the plate. With Saarloos throwing grapefruits, was there any doubt as to what was about to happen?

No, there wasn't. Both batters singled and two runs come in. Game is effectively over.

And then the kicker: NOW Macha decides it would be a good time to get Calero warm in the pen. 6 batters, 5 hard hit balls, 4 hits, two runs. That's all it takes before Admiral Asshat wakes up and actually does something. After the fatal blows have been delivered.

Speaking of fatal blows, Macha's continual managerial dicksucking is KILLING this team. After taking 3 out of 4 in Boston and looking like they might finally get some momentum and put together a little winning streak, Macha manages to put the kibosh on that. Today was the 5th loss that was solely Macha's fault. Any other manager, and this team of misfits and talentless shitfaces is looking at a 6 game division lead. But not Ken. He's got us into a 4 way dogfight, but all you'll hear from the apologists is that Ken is doing a great job despite everything that's happened to this team with injuries and ineffectiveness.

And though I harp on this ad nauseum, I'll just mention it again. What few games this team does win are not because of Macha, and the injury excuse is no excuse at all.

Wouldn't it be cool if Macha died? Yes, it would.

Thanks for the five losses, asshole.

7 Comments:

Anonymous dukewellington said...

this one was so bad, that even Blez recognized the Macha mistake (though of course he sounded like a pussy in doing so)

Monday, July 17, 2006 9:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This game is the prime example of why the A's are going nowhere this season, despite what the T-Shirt salesman and his disciples may lead you to believe. Let's review the reasons why:

1. Captain Clueless decides to lead Jason Kendall off tonight, which means he isn't able to warm up a rookie pitcher who he's never caught. Brandon Buckley warmed Jason Windsor up tonight, and it took Windsor about three innings to finally get his nerves calmed down enough to throw strikes with any regularity. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Jason Kendall isn't Carl Crawford and there is absolutely no reason why the A's couldn't have led anybody else off tonight and hit Kendall down in the order so he could adequately get acquainted with Windsor prior to game time.

2. Eric Chavez belongs on the DL, not batting 4th in the lineup. This catastrophe is Beano and Captain Clueless' fault, Beano needs to DL Chavez and pony up an extra few bucks to bring up a scrub from AAA. Now if the A's decide to DL Chavez they can't do it retroactively. Captain Clueless hitting Chavez 4th is a joke, if Beano insists on not DLing him then Chavez needs to be hitting 7th or lower until he proves he can contribute.

3. Bobby Crosby is a piece of crap. Is there any Bobby Crosby at bat that doesn't end with him striking out to end the inning throwing off his helmet and walking dejectedly towards shortstop? It's time to give up on him, well past time. The only thing surprising is Ken Macha finally took him out of the third hole in the lineup, although even he might be a better option than Eric Chavez at this point.

4. Milton Bradley is about as durable as a porcelain doll, which is probably true of 90% of the A's active roster. Can the guy go more than three days without hurting himself?

5. Greg's post about Kirk Saarloos relieving in a 3-3 game was dead on. With Calero and Duchscherer at his disposal, why was Saarloos the better option? And bringing in Calero after the game was essentially over was a classic Macha move. This game was entirely winnable and the A's let the Orioles off the hook. The Tijuana Turd is pitching tomorrow. Go Team.

Monday, July 17, 2006 9:47:00 PM  
Anonymous smac said...

"In high leverage situations, I think it's paramount that the pitcher on the mound be the last guy on your roster."
--Ken Macha

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 1:13:00 PM  
Blogger goodmeat2000 said...

Macha did indeed mismanage the game after the 6th, but something needs to be said -- and I pointed it out on the EiO blog as well: WINDSOR made a 2-run error. Without it, he leaves after 5 with a 3-1 lead. The game is entirely different, because Saarloos is going to be one hell of a lot more effective with a lead, simply because the Orioles are going to be pressing that much harder. Saarloos did his job; he just was left in too long. This is not to say Duke or Calero would not have suffered similarly: Tejada and Mora are hardly cakewalks. LIKELY to have had more success? You betcha. But pin the loss where it belongs: Windsor.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 1:58:00 PM  
Blogger Max Power said...

I think Ken might still have been lightheaded from all the blood he lost through his nose the other night! LOL

"Bobby Crosby is a piece of crap. Is there any Bobby Crosby at bat that doesn't end with him striking out to end the inning throwing off his helmet and walking dejectedly towards shortstop?"

The answer is yes, they do end another way... Crosby has somehow latched onto Byrnes' patented pop it straight up and hold-the-bat-straight-out-over-the-plate-so-everyone-knows-you-took-a-crap-swing-at-a-crap-pitch while you start your futile jog to 1st.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:06:00 PM  
Blogger goodmeat2000 said...

Incidentally, I haven't been writing them down; I'm not masochistic. But I DO have Macha at 8.5 on the loss column, having given him back 1.5 for a couple pretty good decisions.

I almost gave him some kudos on the double steal the other night, until I found out it was Payton taking advantage of Bradley getting picked off first base. I hollered about that small-ball strategy, and where the heck did that come from...thought maybe Ken's nosebleed drained some of the pressure and turned him into a manager for real.....but no, just Bradley dicking around and Payton covering his ass.

Incidentally, when are people gonna stop ragging on Payton? The guy plays great defense, hits the hell out of the ball, is SMART in the game both defense and offense, stays involved in the plays (saw him backing up Kotsay in CF a few weeks back -- really had to haul ass to do it; most players jog over to back up 'just in case'......Payton hauls ass assuming the worst every time)......and the guy plays with Tejada-like passion for the game.......so why do people rag on him? If we had 24 more attitudes like his on the team, we would be kicking some serious ass right now. Maybe like some of those old-time A's teams, it would be EACH OTHER'S asses, but it would be a fun team to watch. These old boys we got trottin' around out there, sometimes it seems like we're watching the Over 40 Softball League of Davenport Iowa.....

Thursday, July 20, 2006 9:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just wanted to comment on the fact that whomever the fucking assbags that wrote these blogs about my uncle...just let it be known that the only reason the A's made it that far this season is because of him. So you can take your comments and your hatred towards him and shove it up your asses. Thanks.

Sunday, November 05, 2006 1:24:00 PM  

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