"After changes upon changes we are more or less the same."
- Paul Simon
I had to come back. You can only go on some many nature hikes before you realize that nature is boring and sucks. Hey, you know what else is boring and sucks? The A's.
But I'm a masochist. And the best way to feed that addiction is to watch the A's. I attended a barbeque yesterday, and while the game was on in the background, I rarely paid attention to it. I did go inside once to see that the A's had the bases loaded and nobody out. I started to get excited, and then I realized that it was the A's. Oh, and Jason Kendall was up. You guys will be shocked to know that Kendall didn't get the run home. I know, seriously. Weird, huh? Kendall failing? That never happens. Oh, and the A's didn't score that inning. Double weird. But I loved it. Like I said, I'm a masochist.
And as a masochist, what better time to return to the team than right before they embark on a road trip to Cleveland and New York, two of the 13 American League cities where we seem to turn into a gigantic, blood-soaked, puss-covered, wart-infested vaginas. We can't beat these two teams in their stadiums under any circumstances. I'm really looking forward to going 1-5 on this road trip. Did I mention that I was a masochist?
Oh, and it gets better. Check out the ERA's and the walk-rates of the next 4 pitchers we'll be facing.
HA! Four absolutely atrocious ERA's, and three very good walk rates. Guys who pound the strike zone with mediocre stuff. Jeez, can we just forfeit now? It's not like we have anything even close to a chance. And while Small is definitely walking too many guys, his ERA dictates that every team who faces him should beat him like a woman who mouths off. "I said get me my beer, bitch! Do you WANT to taste the backside of my hand again?" I mean this guy is so bad that he's allowing MORE than one run per inning. He doesn't belong anywhere near the major leagues. Thus, Small will be throwing a gem on Friday. His will be the 4th consecutive gem thrown by a gascan, and the A's will lose all four games. Get used to it. It's been the same damn story since 2002. We don't have a chance.
Also, have you forgotten who is our manager? Yeah, we seriously don't have a chance.
Oh, and the Tijuana Turd will be starting Thursday's game in Cleveland. Wanna know how he did in his rehab start yesterday? 3 IP, 6 H, 1 BB, 3 ER, 0 K. Oh, and he blamed the umpire, too. Like a true champion. We don't have a chance in hell.
But that's why I'm coming back. Like I said, I'm a masochist.