Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Street Sleeping

There's gotta be a record of you some place
You've gotta be on somebody's books
The low-down, the picture of your face
Your injured looks
-Dire Straits "On Every Street."

We were promised that Huston Street would finally return from his "minor" pectoral injury yesterday. And all throughout yesterday's game, I was stoked that we would have that guy available to protect a 1 run 9th inning lead. However, when the game returned from commercial break, I saw a silhouette that resembled Justin Duchscherer standing on the mound. "Where's Huston?" I said to myself. "Fucking goddamnit. He's still injured. The A's have been lying to us all along."

I don't know if this injury had anything to do with Macha's kickass usage of the guy early in the season, but here's what we do know: It has now been 15 days since Street suffered his injury, which means if the A's weren't so intent on lying to us all the damn time, they could have brought up another arm from Sacramento if they would have just placed Admiral Aw-Shucks on the disabled list. That extra arm might have been useful for the all the games when the starter managed to go about 3 innings before crapping out. Or, in other words, that might have been useful for all the games.

Anyway, we'll just assume that Street has some terminal chest muscle injury, and schedule his funeral for the next off day. Because clearly, he's never coming back. Ever.

And this might be Macha's fault. And if it is, Macha deserves the death penalty. By my count, this makes approximately 316 death penalties that Macha has earned in his tenure as manager.

So, thanks Macha.


Anonymous DukeWellington said...

A Mark Knopfler reference. This site really kicks ass. hfg

Tuesday, May 02, 2006 1:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Didn't Huston pitch the 7th yesterday though?


Wednesday, May 03, 2006 8:31:00 AM  
Blogger darthmoridin said...

I have never wanted to kill anyone as much as I wanted to kill Macha--for a game the A's won, no less. Houston in the 7th, Duke in the 8th and then he let Duke finish warmup tosses in the 9th and then took him out!!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006 10:24:00 AM  
Blogger goodmeat2000 said...

As I pointed out on EiO, the A's are already a game and a half over 500, and it's only May. What more could you want out of the MOY, Macha?

Wednesday, May 03, 2006 2:15:00 PM  
Blogger goodmeat2000 said...

You quoted Dire Straits? Hey, they're big A's fans, to wit:

Dire straits

Here comes Macha chewing double bubble
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Macha saying I Gotta Pitcher
Down in the bullpen, trying to make it pay
He got the action, he got the motion
Yeah, the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the night time into the day

He do the song about the disabled list now,
He do the song about the knife
He do the walk, he do the walk of life

Here comes Billy and he'll tell you the story
Hand me down my media tools
Here come Billy with the b.s. and the glory
I can't believe the gullible fools.
He got the action, he got the motion
Yeah, the boy can play
But can't bring himself to fire Macha
Turning all the hope back into dismay.

He might say 'They're all now disable',
He'll sing the song about the knife
He do the walk, he do the walk of life

Here comes Lew kicking serious booty
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Lew saying 'Cost us Another?
"Today's the day you day, you got to pay"
He got the action, he got the motion
Yeah the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the darkness into the day

And after all the violence and double talk
There's just a song in the trouble and the strife
You do the walk, you do the walk of life.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006 2:33:00 PM  
Blogger The Anti-Blez said...

I hope the A's bring up Kazuhito Tadano from Sacramento. He's the guy who starred in the Japanese gay porn video.

Macha would then have somebody to keep him company.

Thursday, May 04, 2006 8:16:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home