Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The Golden Clouds of Excellence

My Dearest Readers,

I write to you this beautiful vernal morn from high up above in what I like to refer to as the Golden Clouds of Excellence. Of course, this is merely a metaphor; physically, I am located about three minutes from a pool bar where Nick Swisher will be this afternoon, but mentally, I am soaring high above it all in my newfound state of perpetual euphoria.

I did not watch the game last night, but I don't think I need to tell you, my dearest readers, of this fact. However, it was easy to deduce the results of last night's athletic competition simply by reading the comments left by you, my dearest readers, on this blog. But it does not bother me. I have let go of what transpires on the ground between mere mortals, and instead soak up the ethereal delight that is my new resting place, the Golden Clouds of Excellence.

But dearest readers, I am somewhat troubled. I am saddened by the bickering and infighting that seems to be taking place in the comments section. You will never find Nirvana if you cannot let go of the rage that encases and controls your entire psyche. Let go, dearest readers...let go. A lesser man, which, I admit, I used to be, might have looked to find two comments written by the same user calling him a pussy and a chubby chaser and get angry. That same lesser man might have pointed out that said user was only one blog post removed from his minute by minute account of the party he attended with nothing but female sexegenarians to watch the finale of American Idol. That lesser man may have then handed that user a dictionary and told him to look up the phrase "ironically insufferable jackass." But not me. Not the new me. Not the new me, the better man who now dwells solely in the Golden Clouds of Excellence.

Dearest readers, I urge you all to become better men, like I have become. Let's put a stop to the accusations and recriminations. Let us end the fighting and travel, together, to the Golden Clouds of Excellence.

A wise sage once opined that a journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step. But let us not be concerned with the fact that the single step of sacking Ken Macha would account for about a 687 mile bus ride, and instead be concerned with taking the step to learn what is truly important in life.

And what, you ask, my dearest readers, is truly important in life?

That question can only be answered by yourself, after you let go of your earthly possessions and desires, and come join me high up above in the Golden Clouds of Excellence.

I bid a most excellent adieu to everyone.


Anonymous Ironically Insufferable Jackass said...

The Golden Clouds of Excellence made you funnier, too.

I've been ambivalent about them for weeks. I merely shrugged my shoulders last night as Stairs ripped Street's nibbling junk into center. 'Cause I knew it was coming.

Gutless fucktards. the lot of 'em.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 1:51:00 PM  
Anonymous ironically insufferable jackass said...

Kendall homered. We won. Two exceptionally unlikely circumstances on the same day.

Head for the bomb shelter.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 4:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

could this be the begining of some biblical prophocy? one ending in the firing of macha?

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 4:15:00 PM  
Blogger ruben398 said...

No, Macha is the one, the one that will bring balance to the force, or in other words, to make the A's as close to a .500 team as possible.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 6:14:00 PM  
Blogger The Anti-Blez said...

A Kendall HR and a Blanton CG shutout?

Hell just froze over.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 6:36:00 PM  
Blogger The Anti-Blez said...

Just out of curiosity...

Whatever happened to Roman?

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 8:33:00 PM  
Blogger goodmeat2000 said...

Funny. I first read the phrase as "chronically insufferable jackass" and was pretty sure by that our Zen-Master was describing one of his friends. But an 'ironically insufferable jackass wouldn't necessarily be a friend. This is a question I will need to seek further into the Nexus in order to achieve a fulfilling answer to. I'll be right back. I just gotta OOM over to the neighbors'...........

Saturday, June 03, 2006 6:19:00 PM  
Anonymous a-f said...

Well, in Taiwanese language. The pronounce of the word "meat leg"(means extremely weak) is similar to "macha".

Taiwanese ancestors were so genious..

Monday, June 05, 2006 3:56:00 AM  

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