Thursday, May 25, 2006

Circling the drain.....


I hate this team. The manager, the general manager, and especially the players. I can't stand them. They are stupid, useless, and I hate them. "We were aware of the bunt." Yeah, sure you were you scrotum-swallowing anusbags. That must be why Flores, Swisher AND Scutaro reacted to it like they just walked in on their fat aunt fucking a donkey. That must have been why Macha called a meeting on the mound before the at-bat (oh wait...he didn't), and why Scutaro was positioned in the left field stands.

I can't stand to watch you bat with runners on. When that happens, I go to the bathroom or head to the kitchen to fix a snack, because I know I'm not missing anything. I can't stand to watch you do anything. Letting Kendall bat last night in the 8th was the wrong move. Letting Kielty bat in the 9th against the righty Jenks was just beyond stupid. Jesus, Ken. Did Melhuse rape your son or something? What the fuck does the guy with the 3rd highest OPS on the team have to do to get some fucking at-bats? Kendall's defense is just as sad as his offense. Put Melhuse in the fucking game. What are you afraid will happen, the offense might score more than the 2 runs a game it's been averaging over the last six games?

Whatever. Fuck it. I can't watch this team anymore. It literally is too much for my blood pressure.

The Angels just got done losing 17 of 22 games. Yeah, you read that correctly. We could have BURIED them. But we didn't. Now they're showing signs of life, and I fully expect them to be back in 1st place by June 15th. We could have ended the race, but we were too busy stuffing seminal vesicles down our throats. I literally, physically, and mentally cannot watch this team anymore.

So I'm putting myself on a self-imposed hiatus from watching the team. Maybe for a couple of days. Maybe a month. Maybe forever. Or maybe until we get a regime change, because until that happens we're all just watching the same god damn movie we've seen the last 7 years. Start out slow, get hot in the middle, choke on a dick when it counts.

They've sapped my will. I'm tired, broken, and beaten. I don't want to watch them anymore. I CAN'T watch them anymore. My creativity is gone. At some point, there just aren't any more pictures you can crop Macha's head on. Whatever I have to say while I'm in this state isn't worth your time, so I'm not going to bother. It's clinical depression, and the only cure for it is strip clubs, lots of alcohol, and not watching Jason Kendall bat.

So the blog is going to go dark for a little bit. At least when it concerns entries from me. I need to get my health in order before I can go back to being a fan of this fucking team. If Macha can sleep through games, so the hell can I.

But keep checking Zach's site. It's the best site on the internet, and he does great work. And the anti-Blez always does great work. If you would like to submit a guest entry for FireMacha.com, I urge you to do so.

But I can't keep this up. Not right now. I know how the story ends. And I know that you know, too. I'm just sick of watching.

Fuck this team.

6 Comments:

Blogger Toni said...

That makes me sad waffle, but I certainly can't fault anything you say.

For me my excitement and joy regarding this season was pretty much done in during the Twins series. Just to many expectations coming into this year I guess.

And I'll always look forward to your next post, whenever that may be now. Be it in a few days, a few weeks or year. I may not agree with everything you say, but you usually make me laugh in spite of myself.

I guess it's time for roman and gabe to pick up the slack...

=)

Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:41:00 AM  
Anonymous smac said...

Pussy. nw

Thursday, May 25, 2006 12:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll drop a couple of guest posts on you.

Not necessarily from me per se, but a culmination of the hatred conveyed from the espn message board towards machatron. hfg

-mike92tsi

Thursday, May 25, 2006 2:04:00 PM  
Blogger The Anti-Blez said...

Moneyball Sucks Balls.

And the sad thing now is that Billy Beane is a part-owner of the AAA's.

So we're stuck with his flawed strategy until he decides to cash out.

Thursday, May 25, 2006 3:40:00 PM  
Anonymous DukeWellington said...

you picked a good tim to take a break from the A's. Tonight's game was a top 5 horrible loss from the last 6 years. I'd rather watch the Lumberjack competitions on ESPN 2

Thursday, May 25, 2006 9:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Quit your crying. I'm the one who wrote the Ken Landers letter and I'm still rootin' for those Battlin' Buccos and I know they're gonna make the NLCS.

Macha is our Dusty. And that's a big fat L in the won/loss column.

Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:49:00 PM  

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