Saturday, April 08, 2006

Missed it by *that* much

For those of you who were wondering if Macha could "Get Smart" for an entire game, wonder no longer. The answer, of course, is no. But he did make it through 8 innings, which is the closest he's come in a long fucking time. But why on earth are you putting in Justin Duchscherer in the 9th inning of a 5-run game? Why the fuck do you think Brad Halsey and Jay Witasick are on the team? Exactly. To be used in situations were the game is already decided. Now, if you need Duchscherer tonight (and with Zito going, chances are you'll need the bullpen for about 6 innings, but will only use it for 4), you probably won't be able to use him Sunday. Seriously, Ken. Save these guys in April so they don't collapse in September. Yeah, it was just one inning, and the Duke had absolutely no problem dispatching Seattle in three batters, but that's not the point. Are you saving Witasick and Halsey for extra inning games in Boston? Yeah, that must be it. On the bright side, at least you didn't intentionally walk Jason Kendall with a runner on third and one out. I mean, you're guaranteed to get a weakass grounder to third from this guy, and you're putting him on? Between Torre's idiotic reliever usage patterns and Hargrove giving a free pass to the worst player in baseball, you seem to be rubbing off on other managers. It's kind of nice to see; it evens the playing field a little.

We all know that if Marco Scutaro were to play every day, he would put up an OPS around .700 for the season. But for now, when he's currently sporting a 1.552 OPS, you put him in the lineup until he starts to cool off. What part of this don't you understand? If that comes at the expense of Crosby or Ellis, or both, so be it. Ride the hot hand. Swisher had been on fire for about three weeks before you sat him against a righty on Wednesday (that was an all-time genius maneuver, btw). Since then? 8 at-bats, 5 strikeouts, 1 hit. I'm glad that Scutaro got pinch hitting duties last night, but jesus Ken, you vacuous piece of shit; why are you so damn stupid?

In other news, it's nice to see that Milton Bradley is already in fine playoff form. He's really assimilated to the A's culture of retardation. And Bradley even wears Byrnes' old number. How perfect is that? There were tears in my eyes when he managed to not score from second base on a double off the wall last night. Now, I can't say for sure whether those tears were from the baserunning gaffe or the Habanero peppers I was rubbing against my nuts (long story), but the fact is that there were tears. And tears are tears, regardless of whether they come from the manager being an idiot or my homoerotic fantasies with Mexican peppers. Now, where was I again? Oh yeah, Macha's a jackass. But seriously ladies, I was just kidding about the peppers. I'm not a psycho. The only things I rub against my nuts are supermodels and the occasional tubesock.

Anyway, just as Don Adams went on to be the voice of a popular cartoon character later on his life, we're all looking forward to Macha's voicing of "Inspector Asshole" in a few years. After all, he's always on duty....retard duty.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Has Billy Beane finally learned how to mind-control Macha? Tonight the pitching changes were spot-on. It must've been Beane calling the shots. No other way to explain it.

Saturday, April 08, 2006 11:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you seem like an ignorant jerk, and
I don't like you.

Go A's

Sunday, April 09, 2006 8:47:00 PM  
Blogger goodmeat2000 said...

He may SEEM like that, but he really isn't. He's right, and some folks don't like how he gets his point across. Do YOU have a better reason for using Duke and not soon-to-be-AAA-pitcher Halsey? We're not saving HIM for anything, are we? Or Witasik, if you're determined to actually get the batters OUT? HE, after all, has a little experience in the bigs doing just that. Not a lot. Just a lot more than Halsey, whom will likely never set foot on in an A's clubhouse again, once he goes to Sacramento. So why not use him?

Macha's misuse of the BP is legendary. Why defend it?

Monday, April 10, 2006 9:49:00 AM  

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