Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The Line-Up makes me Crying-Up

Crying-Up. Man oh man, does my cleverness know no bounds? Hmm....apparently not. Unfortunately.

But Jesus Christ. It's time to stop letting Macha write the lineups, and just start hiring ten year olds from birthday parties to put on a blindfold and pin a player's name to the lineup card. I'm 100% certain that this would actually make our lineups infinitely better. Get a load of the crap that Macha threw out there tonight:

1. Jason Kendall C
2. Mark Ellis 2B
3. Bobby Crosby SS
4. Frank Thomas DH
5. Milton Bradley RF
6. Jay Payton CF
7. Nick Swisher 1B
8. Bobby Kielty LF
9. Antonio Perez 3B

So let's recap:

1) The team's best hitter (Eric Chavez) is given the night off.
2) The team's worst hitter (Jason Kendall) is moved to leadoff.
3) Bobby Crosby and his amazing .507 OPS is hitting third.
4) Batting 6th is a .385 OPS. Batting 7th is a 1.163 OPS
5) Bobby Kielty is in the lineup, period.

Now, some of the assholes from asslickers nation might point out that Chavez has terrible lifetime numbers against Rogers, and that Kendall and Payton actually have pretty good success, historically, against him. They might further point out that even though Kielty's numbers against Rogers are bad, he overall hits lefties well. Heck, they'll say. Kendall reached base two times out of four plate appearances tonight. How's that crow taste, God? (yeah, people call me God instead of Greg....because I am one).

Here's the thing:

1) Kendall sucks.
2) Kielty sucks.
3) Payton sucks.

Jason Kendall used to be a really good baseball player. He has good lifetime numbers against a lot of pitchers. But he sucks now. His history is meaningless, as is the coincidence that he reached twice tonight. Bobby Kielty managed a .720 OPS in Sacramento this year. He struck out (8) as many times as he got a hit. Kielty sucks. Jay Payton sucks. He's had 39 at-bats this year. He's seen a total of 39 pitches.

If you want to rest Kotsay and his rather pedestrian .739 OPS against Rogers tonight, fine. Put in Payton, but don't bat him 6th. Payton can't hit. And if you're going to have Payton in the lineup, you've already sacrificed a lot of offense. That means you don't put Kielty in there as well. It just compounds the mistake. And for Greg's sake, you sure as shit don't bat the worst player in the American League leadoff. That triple compounds it. And you've already sacrificed some offense by resting your best hitter (the 2006 Chavez is a very different Chavez from year's least so far), and replacing him with a lesser bat who has never faced Rogers before. That just quadruple compounded it. And you don't bat the guy who is 11 for his last 24 with eight extra base hits 7th. That just quintuple compounds it. And maybe, just maybe, Bobby Crosby, he of the legendary .507 OPS (including .126 with runners on base), shouldn't be batting third, the most important spot of the lineup. But that's just me. And that sextuple compounds it.

So congrats a lineup with 9 batters, you only royally fucked up 6 of them. I didn't think it was possible for anybody to sextuple compound anything, but you've managed to do just that. This, coincidentally, is the only thing you've actually "managed" since 2003 (Greg knows you're sure as hell not managing this team), so congrats on that, too.

And a cynic would mention that once again, Macha didn't remove an ineffective starting pitcher until the killer blow had been delivered, but I'm not a cynic. Oh wait, yes I am. Macha once again waited too long to remove an ineffective starting pitcher. The fact that Saarloos sucked also doesn't exonerate Macha one bit. We didn't know that Saarloos would be terrible. In fact, his lifetime numbers against Detroit are very good.

No, Macha didn't cost us this game. But he was, once again, an asshole. We weren't going to score 12 runs tonight. We weren't going to even score 8 or 9, which is what Detroit probably would have scored had Macha actually managed. But he could have put out a lineup that at least makes some sense. Move Crosby, Kendall, and Payton down in the order. Move Swisher and Bradley up. You know, a rational lineup. Is that really too much to ask? Apparently so.

Ken Macha remains a Manager, And Complete Horse's Ass.
Tigers' offense, Rogers tame A's
Susan Slusser, SF Chronicle

Another slow start for Crosby, and he can't quite put his finger on it

Susan Slusser, SF Chronicle

Younger players appreciate having Thomas' guidance
Jay Heater, Knight Ridder

TIGERS CORNER: Athletics rave about Verlander's fast rise
John Lowe, Detroit Free Press

A's top prospect showing his potential
Tim Casey, Sacramento Bee (Registration Required)
-Comment: Through 12 games, Barton's OPS is 1.079

RockHounds Notebook
Oscar Leroy, Midland Reporter-Telegram
-Comment: Yesterday, Kirk Suzuki struck out for the first time this season.

Pitching outstanding again
Jagdip Dhillon, Stockton Record

Bats carry Cougars past Silver Hawks
Chris James, NorthWest News Group
Comment: Vince Mazzaro has now allowed 10 ER in 15.0 IP, while only issuing 3 walks.


Blogger OaklandGabe said...

Well done greg, although i was expecting roman to write it as furious as he was last night.

Thursday, April 20, 2006 10:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Lewis said...

impressive lack of profanity greg!

Thursday, April 20, 2006 10:43:00 AM  
Blogger goodmeat2000 said...

There comes a point when the idiocy is overwhelming. Sorta like if your puppy gets run over in the road, it really sucks, and you're pretty pissed at they guy who made no effort to miss your puppy.

Now change that to the guy swerved, obstensibly to miss your puppy, and not only squished him anyway, but also killed your puppy's mama, brother, and the kitten that was tagging along, as well as maybe nicked YOUR brother, so he's now in intensive care clinging to life.

You're still pissed at the asshole driver, but right now, you're maybe just at a loss for words.

Thursday, April 20, 2006 7:32:00 PM  

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