Thursday, January 05, 2006

Listen to the Band

You know the phrase "If you were a horse, they'd have shot you by now?" Actually, I'm not sure if that's a famous phrase or just something my mom used to always tell me when I was growing up, but nevertheless, the extrapolation game has always been a fun one to play. Remember when Al Davis used to load up his football team with track stars, and then wondered why his football teams sucked? Well, Al lost the extrapolation game to a very formidable opponent....logic. Ken Macha has often found himself in a battle to the death with logic, and he loses, miserably, every time. Unfortunately, the whole "battle to the death" thing is a metaphor, because Ken Macha will never die. He's like the undead or something.

Not sure where this is going, so I'll get to the point.

If Macha were a band, would he rule all or would he suck nuts? Well, to all those who thought we'd never be able to definitively answer the question, you're in luck. Because in addition to being a moron and a shitty manager, Macha actually is a band, as well. And lord almighty, does Macha suck nuts. Wow, does he suck. Just read the review that Kate Minson wrote:

This is really awful. Don't be fooled. I think it's the vocals that really kill this for me. This might be listenable if it were all instrumental. The singer has this whispery, trying to be sexy, delivery that is just plain bad. Listen to the "Cat Wants..." track to see what I mean. Sorry, but I feel like I really wasted some cash on this.

Preach on, sister. We can relate, because we've wasted some cash on Macha, as well. But at least you only lost money. A's fans have lost so much more than that. We'd trade places with you if we could.

Anyway, for those of you who enjoy truly godawful music, have a listen to this Macha tune, from their pretentiously self-titled album (because if you're going to name your band after the biggest fucking moron who ever lived, you might as well name your album that, too), called "Double Life." It must be a metaphor. By day, he's a shitty band. By night, he's the worst manager in baseball history.

But don't say you weren't warned. There's a chance this will be the worst song you listen to all year. Enjoy!

Macha "Double Life."


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