Saturday, September 17, 2005

Yabu Dabu D'oh

Macha's Stone-Age Brainpower strikes again

Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you. All of the time, Macha is a god damn retard. Thursday night, Ken Macha brings in Huston Street to close out a 4 run lead in the 9th inning.

"He had two days off and I'm not playing a statistical game right now," Macha said. "There's only one statistic and that's to win the game. You've got to go with your best guy, and for me, tonight, that's a save situation."
Ok, fair enough, Ken. With every game a must win, you want to make absolutely sure we win every game. So let me ask you this: With the bases loaded and one out, and Manny Ramirez at the plate, what on earth could possibly possess you to bring in anybody EXCEPT Huston Street, who was already warm? Yabu has pitched 3 times in 16 days, and you bring him in with the game on the line? There was only one way that story was going to end, and that was with a loss. You'd either have to be blind or a moron not to see that coming. Guess which one of the two you just happen to be? (Hint: You're a moron). Just so I've got this straight, you're more than willing to bring in your best reliever to protect a 4 run lead, but for the times when you REALLY need him, like last night for instance, you go with your 6th best option out of the pen? Ok. Nice work, Ken.

Of course, that was only your second egregious mistake of the inning, as removing Duke after he had recorded 7 outs, 4 by strikeout, in only 27 pitches in what was easily the best game he's ever pitched in his life, was also idiotic. You had one more inning for Duke, and then 2 for Street, and in the meantime you try to score a run off of the worst bullpen in baseball. Managing this game through the 12th inning was a no-brainer, and you fucked it up. God damn I hate you.

You totally fucked this up, Ken. You brought in the wrong guys for the wrong situations, and it burned you. As it says up top, you are a moron and I hate you.

Cold as Iceberg

In April 1912, the Titanic sank after it collided with an iceberg. If it had collided with a Hatteberg, would it have sunk twice? Seriously, am I the only one getting really fucking sick of all of these double plays? Get him out of the god damn lineup, Ken. He's killing us. 99% of the time, a Scott Hatteberg at-bat will result in him hitting a ground ball somewhere between 1st and 2nd base. There's a reason he's hit into 22 double plays this year, and it's because he sucks. Put Melhuse in the fucking lineup, asshole. And why the hell didn't you at least have Payton attempt a steal off of a guy who throws the ball 65 miles per hour, and versus a catcher who throws out 23% of his baserunners (these two events are related, btw). That way, when Hatte hits his inevitable grounder to second, it would be a run-scoring groundout rather than an inning ending double play. That 3rd run might have come in handy, no? I'm just saying, is all.

Did you bet your mortgage on a 2nd place finish? Because it sure as hell seems that way. Or maybe you're just an asshole.


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