Scioscia's Bloody Vagina
What a fucking asshat. What a god damn disgrace. What a fucking embarrassment to our national pasttime. Yeah, I'm talking about Ken Macha, but I'm also talking about Mike Scioscia. Where I come from, we have a word we use to describe people who act like Scioscia: fat pussy fuckface. I mean, look at this fucking loser. I don't want to say that he looks a lot like the Kool-Aid Man, but jeez, the resemblance is a just a little more than uncanny.
It's also nice to see that a grown man is capable of wearing a baseball hat, and not look like a complete fucking idiot. Scioscia has totally pulled the bill down far enough over his fat head that he totally doesn't look like a Special Olympian. Oh, wait. Guess he does. Sorry, Mike. I hope you win. But if you cannot win, I hope you're at least brave in the attempt. You fat fucking assclown. And I also hope Steve Physioc wins whatever event he'll be entered in. His disability, you ask? Well, as a child, instead of being born with a brain, he was just born with more hair.
So Mike: If you want to be taken seriously, quit with the fucking gamesmanship. It was annoying six years ago. Nowadays, I would dance a fucking jig if you were mauled by a wild llama or something. Seriously, it doesn't do anything except piss people off. Your pathetic little lineup can't hit Zito. It can't hit Street. It couldn't hit Mulder, and it couldn't hit Hudson. So stop worrying about bracelets. Or toes on rubbers. Or balks. But if you like, you can worry about how your own scab of a pitcher is a dirty, filthy, fucking cheater. Or maybe you could give Vlad a god damn tube of toothpaste, and tell him his ugly teeth wouldn't be so god damn green if he'd just brush them every once in a while.
Scioscia is a fucking disgrace.
Also, I haven't forgotten about Macha. He's a disgrace, too. But I shouldn't make any jokes about him until the city workers are done cleaning the pigeon crap off of him. You know, because he's a statue? Get it?
Seriously, Scioscia. You're a fag.