Wednesday, July 27, 2005

If He Only Had a Brain

"If I only had a brain
I could while away the hours
Conferring' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain"

I don't know about you guys, but personally, I think they should have made the Tin Man the one without the brain, and the scarecrow the one without the heart. If for no other reason than that I found a picture of the Tin Man online that was a dead ringer for Macha. It would have been so perfect. Oh well. C'est la vie.....

Black (Jack) Tuesday

October 29, 1929. It was a Tuesday. The stock market crashed. 12 years of Depression ensued. October 29, 2002. Ken Macha hired as Manager. 2 years, 8 months, 29 days (and counting) of Depression (at least for A's fans) ensued. That was a Tuesday, too. Coincidence? Yeah, probably. But Tuesday or no, Macha's still a douchebag.

One of the oldest and most common betting strategies in Blackjack involves counting all the tens and all the non tens as they pass by and are removed from the deck. When the deck is relatively full of tens, you increase your bet, as the chances that the dealer will bust also increase. It's tough to do, but in the long run, you'll make more money that way.

It's the same thing in baseball. If you want to increase your run output, you stack all of your "tens" together in the lineup, meaning you want your best hitters back to back to back. And who are the A's best hitters, you ask? It's quite clear that our four best hitters are Bobby Crosby, Eric Chavez, Nick Swisher, and Dan Johnson. These guys SHOULD be batting 3-6 in the lineup. Last night, they were batting 3-4-7-9. Last night, those 4 combined to go only 2-13, so stacking them may not have made a difference. But in the long run, it will. This team will score more runs if Macha could pull his head out of his ass and stop putting the guy with the .655 July OPS (and only .731 overall) in the 5th spot. He's a rally killer, Ken. Don't you get that? Just stop putting him in a power position in the lineup. Just stop it. Please, Ken. Stop. I'm begging you. Stop. If you're looking for guys to put in the 5th and 6th spot in the lineup, might I suggest the guy with the 1.031 July OPS? Or the guy with the .914 July OPS? I'm begging you, Ken. Of the 83 different lineups you've used in the team's 100 games, this is the most favorable lineup to produce runs. I implore you, Ken. Make the change.

Ok ok, I've harped on this enough. I've made my point. I've said my peace. I'm sure Macha can look at the numbers and notice that when one guy is outperforming another guy by nearly .400 OPS points, it's time to make a change. Not even Macha can miss something so obvious as this, right? I mean, you'd have to be a brainless scarecrow to not notice. Surely, Macha gets the picture. Right?

"I like Johnson in the ninth spot," Macha said. "He's almost like a second leadoff hitter."
-Ken Macha, July 26th

(slaps forehead)

Great work, Ken. It'd be real nice if only you had a brain.


Blogger Toni said...

I should stop reading this site... I'm beginning to hate him as much as you guys.


Last night was a disgrace. But hopefully they get it together and go on another 7-8 win streak.

ps I'd still like a Stats for Dummies column. Hey the other guys got their graphcis!


Wednesday, July 27, 2005 11:08:00 AM  
Anonymous smac said...

the players write the lineup

Wednesday, July 27, 2005 5:35:00 PM  
Anonymous SpazByrnes said...

The thing that makes the picture look even more like Macha is that he has something going up his ass.

The pole is to the scarecrow as Beane is to Kenny.


Wednesday, July 27, 2005 6:42:00 PM  

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